Another Wednesday

  Today was Jazi orientation for pre-k. I am happy to look around and see most of the same kids she went to school with last year. I have always wanted my kids to feel grounded in one place. I know I want to feel grounded myself. I loved looking around and seeing familiar faces. Jazi is very excited be in Mrs.Holly's class. She was a little confused as to why she would have different teachers. I told her she is now in the big girl class. Even big girl as in I pull up and drop her off and not walk her in. Don't worry I will walk her in on her first day with lots of pictures to follow!

   Jas and I were talking tonight and he said just think before we know it she will be going to kindergarden. I said yeah in two years! Kinda sounds weird to say that. He then followed it with what will you do with her in school all day. Then Juliana will be in pre-k, you might actually have some time to your self. Are you sure you want a third :) His way of saying no more kids!



      Then the girls and I ended the day with a make up class of dance. Let me just say I am so thankful I get to stay at home and take her to the classes during the day. That place was a mad house no where to sit or even stand and watch really. But I did get to see a few glimpse of how much fun she was having and actually see her listing to her teacher! During all this craziness today I snapped a few picture of Jaz.. and I will sneak one of Juliana in with her bitty pony tail and hair bow! It was a good busy Wednesday, just helps pass time.

Ever changing

  Before I had kids I never thought I wanted "Yes mama No mama" kids. I love how everything you wanted to do before you had kids all changes once you actually have kids. I can remember saying things that I didn't want to do or didn't want them to do. Just being a mom changes everything about you in so many ways and what you once thought you were it is all different now.
   Tonight I told Jaz that she could have one cup of milk before bed and then after she was done only water (Which is usually a crying battle). She told me she was done and I said would you like some water and she said "yes mama". I thought to myself everything I say day in and day out just shined through a little bit. I feel like it is a constant battle of getting her to mind, and to be well behaved. At the end of the day as a mom that is really all we want.
  After tonight it made me think of the things, and how I am constantly changing my approach on things. Seeings how I have only been a mom for 3 1/2 years I don't have anything perfect and have a lot to learn. And feel like some things I do are not sinking in. But I am glad to see some things sinking in with all this madness!
 

After today

 I dont really talk much about how hard this deployment is on me. I mainly just talk about how the girls are doing with it. I say to people often how time is flying by and we are in the swing of things. Honestly we are. But many times during the day it seems we are just at a stand still. After today I am greatful for the support system I have. Honestly if I couldnt pick up the phone and call some of you I would probably have melt downs a lot.
  Today during a flat tire.. I am not telling how it got flat. But lets just say I am pre occupied with a lot right now. I some how managed to make it to the ford dealer ship. The guy told me there it would be about 2 1/2 hours. With holding tears back I said to him ok that wouldn't be a problem if someone could  come and pick us up. I am not sure if it was the panic look on my face or what.. he then said well there is a tire shop down the road I knew I couldn't drive any father. He took a look at the tire, mind you this is the guy behind the service counter that doesn't do service. He then said do you have a spare he said I will change it right here in the parking lot. I somehow managed to not bust into tears. He talked to me about both of his sons that are in the military and his daughter who is about to marry a pilot. I honestly think it is truly those kind of people that are willing to help one another. This guy could of easily made me wait but decided to do it himself. I am so thankful for this kindness.
   I honestly don't expect anyone to understand the day to day struggles that I have right now.. but I do expect to have some support. I am 24/7 worried about my girls that I barely get time to worry about how I feel. Or much less stress about the reality of a the situation. I dont need people to remind me that that it isn't to long, or wont be much longer. I understand the reality of where my husband is I don't need it brought to my attention. I find myself not sleeping worrying about things I cant control, I have always been good at pushing stuff in the back of my mind. But they some how surface at the end of the day when all my worries with the girls are laid down. So please understand that I am strong but only for so long.
  Well I guess after today I just needed one blog to maybe help some of you understand a day here for me. It goes beyond so many more things than most can imagine. Jas and I are such a strong team it seems like I am trying to do everything with just one arm because he is my other one. He is my person, and I really miss my person!
  Now I am gonna try to do that thing called sleep that I miss so much.. Because tomorrow is a new day and Jazi has dance in the morning, I am as excited as she is! Tomorrow I don't have time to be sad or worried about anything but those girls, So I needed to get it all out tonight. Thanks for hearing me..

Play day!

  After enjoying a super fun thursday I am even more grateful to be a stay at home mom. Most of you SAHM know how trying some days can be and can often wonder if this job is for me. But however this isn't a job you can put a two weeks notice in. I love nothing more than my job and days like today make it worth every single second getting to watch them play. Wouldn't trade it for the world.
  Today we got to enjoy the museum with some friends which after words we went for some lunch at the river market. I have never been before I thought it was pretty neat. After that we walked down to the splash park which the girls just loved. I have never been downtown little rock.. Guess I have always been to scared.  People instilled the fear in me about it. And I am nervous wreck normally that I am going to get lost haha.. Jas knows a good story about this. But I really liked the environment today. After a long day of playing and the kids socializing we walked back up the the market to have homemade popsicle. Which were yummy, Jaz ate the entire thing she loved it! I got a few pictures of the girls per Jas request. I will share!

  The girls passed out in the car with in five minutes which leads me to believe they had a super fun day! The baby laid down in her bed for another 2hours when we made it home. While Jaz and I cuddled up in my bed to watch tv, which pretty sure this was my favorite part of the day. I thought I would make the girls some mac and cheese for dinner and this story will tell you exactly how crazy I have been living. I let the water boil over made a huge mess.. and the noodles were a little soggie. And I was gonna put some spices on it .. and ruined it by pouring the wrong thing on it! This is what not cooking in 2months does to me! Good thing they aren't to bad of food critics! So sitting here at 10:15 this is the earliest I have seen my bed in months.. not sure who today wore out more me or the girls :) Happy Thursday everyone!

A trip to Kroger

   The title sounds so simple right?! Well first off I would like to personally smack who ever idea it was to have miniature buggies for kids to push. Honestly who ever thought this was a great idea must of never had to take a three old to the store with them. Just a glimpse of my kroger trips...
   Mommy mommy I want a little buggy.. and I am thinking god please let there be one left. Because we all know what will happen if there are no more for her. The start off is always good.. what a great helper. She wants to put all her stuff in her buggy. Then I have to explain to her 50 times to stay behind me cause clearly she cant lead the way she has no idea what we need. With her behind me in fear that she is going to ram my feet with the metal cart... Which always happens!! I then have to tell her not to put random stuff in her cart. Then to pay attention over and over while trying to shop. Hoping she doesn't run over people, or into things. About halfway through the store either A. she has decided I dont want this buggy anymore, which means we have to then move all the stuff from hers to mine. B. That she wants to run with it, and then people stare at me for getting onto her. Fabulous I know.. in the mean time Juliana is now trying to stand up in the cart which she is successful at. All in the process Jaz says mommy I said excuse me.. OK great job Jaz now all we need is more thing. And of course it is at the other end of the store wouldn't you know. So here we go all over again! Surprise myself and my kids make it out in one piece. Simple fact why I buy four gallons of milk I don't want to do this twice a week, once is plenty. So thank you to whoever thought this was a great idea... I cant stand you!
                                  Happy Tuesday everyone!!!

Life Lately..

  My life lately.. For starters I am doing the body by vi challange. Which I thought oh this will be so easy. Well let me tell you I am a horrible dieter. But I stood strong with it for the first week, but going back to vb was the kicker for me. I am still trying to get back on track, I am not a breakfast eater normally so I have to remind myself to have a shake for breakfast. I just want instant results .. which I know takes a little work!

   On a better note I went out a couple of weekends ago with my brother and some friends what a great night that was. I am very happy to have some time with my brother before he leaves..some of you probably know he has chose a career in the Air Force. So that will be taking him to Hawii. I know sad right.. Don't worry Jas and I have already planned a trip in a couple of years. Crazy to think I am going to miss that guy :) I am very proud of my brother. And glad we are apart of each others life's.

  Seems me and the girls are just trucking along.. if you can believe it an entire month has passed. We are close to the half way point! I always think of the home coming home it helps get me through each day. And a special thanks to apple for Face time I seriously couldn't manage with out it. Seeing his face at the end of the day makes it that much easier I am sure he enjoys every minute getting to see the girls.

   Through this process I have realized who the "real" people are in my life. Very few people that could call me tonight and say they needed me now that I would drop everything and be there for. I hope my people know who they are and just how important they are to me. I am happy to say I have reconnected with a good friend.. and happy to have her back in my life. It truly is the little things in life!

   A stomach bug has swept our house unfortantly. It hit me first blah.. what a bad experience with to well kids. Seriously at this point what can I not do.. super mom! haha! And now Jaz, she honestly is the best sick kid ever. She tells me when she is going to get sick and goes to the bathroom. Just if giving her meds was that easy! But hopefully short short lived like mine. She will be super happy to be sleeping in my bed. Little stinker says mommy I sleep in your bed tonight, most every night. I say no baby your not. Her answer "Yes I are" haha.

  I just look around at us three sometimes and think what a pair we are really.. We keep each other laughing. Jaz in the bathroom getting sick mommy holding hair back, Juliana pulling the toilet paper in little pieces everywhere in the bathroom. So grateful for my girls that is one thing for sure! So that is our life lately.. Next step getting Jaz ready for her dance classes. She is super excited to be a ballarina. And the BIG pre-k Honestly how did this happen she is growing up!!! Until next time have a fab week!